by Shonnie | Apr 9, 2012 | Self-mastery
Being a “good” parent cannot happen without being a “good” person. Another way to think of it is that our mastery as parents is directly linked to our self-mastery and personal transformation. I mention this because so often parents (including me) look for ways to get our children to do this or that. Or we think that we can somehow train them to behave in a certain way. What we forget is that they behave the way they see us (and others around them) behave. Thus, if we desire for them to be peaceful, loving, courageous, and honest people, the way this will most likely to happen is if we are that kind of person first. Below I offer wise words from two other parents as reminders to me and all other parents out there that we are one with our children. As we transform ourselves our children will transform themselves. We are mirrors for each other on this magical journey. “Our children literally resonate with us. They’re downloading our state all the time; our emotions, our beliefs, our values. Their stress rises with ours and comes down with ours…. We make conscious choices to manage our stress and anxiety levels, while our children are depended on the energetic and emotional environment that we create. To tell a child to be reasonable or calm down while we feel negative towards them, is like telling them to go outside and play while we restrain them tightly.” ~ Genevieve of The Peaceful Parent Institute “Your *child* is the mirror! When you don’t like what you see in your child, there’s a...
by Shonnie | Apr 7, 2012 | Self-mastery
We’re all on a journey in life . . . as individuals and as parents. Part of our challenge on this voyage is to navigate our own way rather than taking the path destined for someone else. Culture, our own upbringing, peers, family, religious and other institutions provide a long list of “shoulds” regarding parenting. Whether you think these methods are “right” or “wrong,” one thing is true about them all — they are others’ ideas. Finding your authentic parenting path is about discovering or selecting ideas, philosophies, practices, and ways that are true for YOU…and letting go of anything that’s not a fit (no matter who says you “should” think/do/say/be it). Suggestions for finding YOUR authentic path No one but you can know the path that’s right for you (that’s the “good” and “bad” news). Having worked with people on many such discernment projects over the years, here are a few things that may help you uncover your true parenting path. Pay attention to any doubts you have about your parenting practices. If you have twinges of guilt for choices you make, look deeper to examine why. If you repeatedly don’t do something that you’ve said you’ll do, ask yourself “why not.” If you catch yourself hesitating before taking a specific action investigate what might be fueling your reluctance. Notice when you feel really wonderful about yourself as a parent. Make a note of what you just did (or didn’t do). Remember how you are being in that moment and practice repeating it to see if it brings the same satisfied feelings. Consider what about your parenting leaves...
