Seeing your authentic self as a parent — Extended question of the day

by | Mar 7, 2014 | Community, Mindfulness, Parenting's Deep Questions, Self-mastery

“What judgments about you get in your way of seeing yourself as you truly are?” While it may sound strange, I’m learning that denying my negative judgments about myself makes me a worse mom. Let me explain. I’m loathe to think of myself as selfish. Being labeled as self-centered or self-absorbed is something I’ve vehemently denied most of my life.  I’ve created a persona of selfless caregiver – a mask I wear to appear solely other-focused, generous, helpful, caring, and attentive only to other’s needs. What’s true, however, is that I AM selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed, underneath this mask and by denying this truth I do several things: I lie to myself and further separate myself from my wholeness I mislead others and present a false self-image I make it easy for my daughter to think that I don’t have needs and that mamas don’t need to care for themselves too I increase the likelihood that I’ll overcompensate for my denial by going berserk at some point when my needs finally must be addressed I only came to this realization as I began working with my new coach, Eliane, and reading Debbie Ford’s The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. I’ve done lots of personal development, yet the idea of embracing the parts of me that I’ve spent decades trying to exorcise is new. Ford writes about how our shadow — the “dark” side that we learned to hide, deny, hate, or fear as we were acculturated — holds a key to our freedom. By incorporating our shadow, we regain our wholeness and we have access to the gifts...